Finding Balance in a Mostly Disordered Life

Posted by Guest Writer in Strategies      25 comments

Feb
16

Here to find the Micro Fiction Challenge results? They’re in the comments section of the post. 

Today our pal Yi Shun Lai shares some thoughts on the subject of balance in a writer’s life. Yi Shun’s debut novel is coming out soon from Shade Mountain Press, she has a new novel coming up due, a day job, a volunteer job (or several?), a husband, a dog, a blog, and … and I’m out of breath just typing this. i.e., balance is a continual struggle. Is finding balance a struggle for you, too? What strategies do you employ? Do they work? Let us know below. — DD

By Yi Shun Lai

Yi Shun’s dog, Sprocket, shows how he achieves balance.

We are not talking yoga.

Or maybe we are. Because when you’re staring at a to-do list that seems five thousand items long, and the dog needs walking, and your unfinished manuscript is weighing on you, maybe what you really need is to meditate.

In front of classic Star Trek.

On the couch.

With a blanket over your head.

And a box (two?) of Cheez-Its.

I can tell you from recent experience that this is not “mindful” or “productive” behavior. And yet, it is highly necessary.

[Tweet “”Sometimes what you really need is to meditate. In front of classic Star Trek” — @gooddirt”]

Unchoke the Lizard

Life balance includes vegetation. It includes doing things daily that you truly enjoy, on a lizard-brain level, with no end goal in sight. Stuff shakes loose when your brain is at rest. Problems get solved.

Perhaps most important, you gain energy back to take little steps towards larger goals. Some days, when you are halfway through your working day and you have done nothing but small tasks, even picking up the phone or sending an email about scheduling a reading can feel impossible.

But a half-hour of doing nothing (a nap!) can give you just enough energy to write the email, make the phone call. Which will lead to something else. At the very least, it will put the ball in someone else’s court for a while.

Thus, the classic Star Trek, which will be followed shortly by MacGyver, I think.

Goals, Goals, Goals

Not convinced? Let me tell it to you this way: I have tried everything else. I have actual physical goals (I’ll do my first triathlon in three years in May); I have little daily goals (write at least a line or two each day in my diary; populate the weekly “brain flotsam” section of my blog).

I have immediate goals (my debut novel comes out May 6, 2016, with its attendant readings and things), and future goals (I need to have a draft of my next novel completed so I can start shopping that around).

I have goals that involve my surroundings (I want to get to know Los Angeles better), and goals that involve my career (I want to do more manuscript critiques and writing coaching). I have goals that are seemingly altruistic and charitable (I volunteer a couple times a year for a disaster-relief agency.)

I involve my network — my friends and colleagues — in these goals, so that I can be held accountable. I try to exercise and eat regular meals.

But nothing feels quite as good as carving out an hour each day to do something totally unrelated to the stuff in my goal bracket.

(Bonus resource about finding balance, for reading this far: Entrepreneur Danielle LaPorte has a great system for scheduling each week. She has “buffer days,” “focus days” and “free days.” I may take an hour each day, but she takes whole days! How cool is that? Read more here.)

[Tweet “”A half-hour of doing nothing (a nap!) can give you just enough energy” — @goddirt”]

Not Writing is Writing

Writers are notoriously bad at stepping away. Everything we do can feel like it’s related to writing in some way. Are we reading for pleasure? Kind of, but with an eye towards bettering our craft. Are we hanging out with our friends? Sort of, but it’s more like “networking” and “getting to know other writers.” And so on.

So: TV. Cheez-Its. Watercolor, every weekend or so. Piano, a couple times a week. Drinks with friends, on a scheduled bi-weekly basis. Letters. A good walk in the foothills.

And yes, even yoga, every once in a while.

Discussion

Is finding balance a struggle for you, too? What strategies do you employ? Do they work? Do they involve Cheez-Its? Let us know below.

Yi Shun Lai (say “yeeshun” for her first name) is the nonfiction editor for the Tahoma Literary Review. Her novel, Not a Self-Help Book: The Misadventures of Marty Wu, debuts May 6, 2016 from Shade Mountain Press.