Let’s Talk About Our Common Writing Fears
Posted by David Duhr in 
tl;dr version: What I want from this post about common writing fears is for you to share, in the comments below, your biggest writing-related fear and at least one strategy you use to fight/face it. Do it anonymously, if you’d prefer. Because talking about our fears is scary business. And while you’re here, maybe lend some emotional support to a fellow writer, especially if you’re familiar with his/her own brand of fear. Tick “notify” to receive an email when someone replies to your comment.
In therapy earlier this week I told my analyst that sometimes I wonder if part of the reason I don’t write as much as I want to is that at the end of a day spent helping writers create, I don’t have enough left in the tank.
Enough what? would’ve been a fair question for her to ask. Creative juice? Am I allowed only x-amount of hours per day to think about writing? What, a science teacher can’t go home after school lets out and … do science?
My therapist — because she’s good (i.e., annoying) — suggested that my problem has little to do with creative juices and much to do with FEAR.
Ah, fear. The fuel that keeps some people running and most people running away.
Let’s talk about it. Read on, if you dare!
“Read My Work… No, Wait. Don’t!”
Writers, like most humans, are susceptible to fears of success and fears of failure, often simultaneously. Some of these common writing fears are about having your work read; others are about having your work not read. Here are some examples:
What if I spend all of this time — weeks, months, years even — and never get published?
What if I do get published, but critics shit on me and/or the reading public stays away?
What if I do get published but it doesn’t make me happy, satisfied, content?
What if I do get published but it brings me all this attention and then I have to appear and speak at readings and other such events?
What if I do get published and then there’s all this pressure to write a follow-up that doesn’t disappoint?
Most writers fear every single one of these things, among others. Is it any surprise that many of us have so much trouble writing? It’s a wonder we can get out of bed in the morning.
The Fear Barrel
The failure/success thing often reminds me of that Jerry Seinfeld bit about how more people are afraid of public speaking than of death, and so most people at a funeral would rather be in the casket than delivering the eulogy.
The thing is, if you gave those people a choice — speak in public or die — would more of them actually choose death?
Seems that there’s an analogy to be found in here somewhere. Something about facing your fear of “speaking” in public or letting your work die.
Seinfeld also once said something about how people afraid of success are “scraping the bottom of the fear barrel.”
See, fear can be fun!
But really, most great comedy — and much of our best literature — does come from strong negative emotions. Including, or maybe especially, fear.
So how do we use this to our advantage?
(I have no answer, I’m actually asking.)
(For a friend.)
Other Common Writing Fears
Here are some other common writing fears. How many of them sound familiar?
I lack talent.
I lack education.
Writing makes me feel vulnerable.
I’m too old to start now.
What the hell am I supposed to write about?
I don’t know where to begin.
I don’t know where to end.
I don’t really, know where commas, go.
My family/friends will think I’m a raging weirdo.
A Scary Exercise
I don’t really have a point here. This post is unfocused and lacks solutions. Just what I was afraid of!
But I wrote it anyway.
Here’s an exercise:
Identify your most crippling writing fear. And then, after sharing it in the comments section below, duh, share it with yourself. Open to a blank page of your notebook or make a new document on your computer. Write your fear in bold, even capitalized letters at the top of the page. Face it. Stare at it. Stare it down.
Then begin writing. Write about where that fear comes from, if you want. Write out some ideas for confronting and defeating it. Or just write about butterflies. Or cotton candy or Ross Perot or the Iditarod or Ross Perot competing in the Iditarod. Whatever. Just write.
Then close your notebook or your computer. Whether with fear or without it, you’ve just written. And that’s cool.
WriteByNight co-founder David Duhr is copy editor and fiction editor at the Texas Observer and has written for the Dallas Morning News, Electric Literature, Publishing Perspectives, and others.
WriteByNight is a writers’ service dedicated to helping you achieve your creative potential and literary goals. We work with writers of all experience levels working in all genres, nationwide and worldwide. If you have a 2016 writing project that you’d like a little help with, take a look at our book coaching, private instruction and writer’s block counseling services. Join our mailing list and get a FREE writer’s diagnostic, “Common problems and SOLUTIONS for the struggling writer.”
Thanks for this. It seems like nobody is willing to talk about this stuff. I’m in two writer’s groups, and anytime I try to talk about fears or anything other than the work itself and where the commas go (LOL) I get shut out. Like only the product matters, and the process isn’t worth discussing. I have a fear not on this list. My fiction is drawn blatantly from my own life, and so even though I would tell friends and family not to try to identify themself in my work, I know they would. It would be impossible not… Read more »
This is similar to mine, I think. The reactions of loved ones to our writing. IE, our thoughts! I wonder if this is some kind of indication that we need to be more open to the people in our lives. Rather than me writing “I’m angry at this person” and then fearing that they ever see it, I should have a conversation with him about that anger. I think that a lot of writers write to work out these kinds of feelings about the people in their lives. But maybe it would be better for some of us to combine… Read more »
Thanks for this idea. I think it’s a good one. Getting the hard conversation out of the way before you begin would probably make you feel more free when you sit down to write. I wonder, too, if part of the reason people in this situation can tend to react strongly is specifically because they weren’t warned about it beforehand. If something is published and available to the reading public, and someone spots him/herself in it, that can probably feel like an assault, or a betrayal maybe? It’s somewhat different when we’re talking about fiction. Either way, having a conversation… Read more »
Hi Paul. Thank you for sharing. I too think it’s important to talk about these things. I’ve been thinking a lot lately about process and product, and how we spend so much time and energy focusing on product, but when you think about it, you can’t have a product without a process, while you can have a process without a product. Or without it leading to a product. Or maybe not? We consider “product” typically to be a finished work, but even a horrible first draft is a product, right? So maybe you can’t have either without the other. I… Read more »
And here’s some further reading, posts where we’ve covered similar topics:
“Writing About Your Family”: https://www.writebynight.net/abcs-of-writing/strategies/writing-about-your-family/
“When Your Family Doesn’t Understand Your Writing Pursuits”: https://www.writebynight.net/abcs-of-writing/strategies/family-and-writing-pursuits/
And then here’s one that almost directly addresses this, but is about seven years old, and I’m not sure how much of my present self is still in it:
“Write Who You Know?”: https://www.writebynight.net/abcs-of-writing/strategies/fictional-factual-characters/
My biggest fear is clowns. My biggest WRITING fear is clowns. I face them/fight them by not acknowledging their presence, at which point they go away. My second biggest writing fear is passive voice. If I come across a clown speaking in passive voice, I’ll jump off a cliff.
Hi Marla. Thanks for making me think of clowns. I’m glad it’s morning and not nighttime.
Tonight you will be visited by Bozo.
Sounds like someone, and I won’t say who, is avoiding confronting his/her fears by masking them with humor about a (legitimate, don’t get me wrong) unrelated fear. My biggest fear, I think, is a weird one. And definitely not listed above. I’m afraid that I’ll die unexpectedly and my friends and family will read through my journals and computer documents. If I knew I was going to die tomorrow, I would spend much of today throwing that stuff away. “Why not throw it away today?” Well, I also have notes about and work from my WIP in there. I guess… Read more »
Thank you for sharing this. I think we need to put a name on this particular fear. If you name a monster, it becomes less of a monster. It makes me think of all of these “The Collected Letters of” books. Would the letter-writer have allowed publication when he/she was alive? Or authorized publication after he/she died? I can’t help but think that there are hundreds of dead writers out there (?) who would be appalled to learn that their letters, journals, etc., were published after they died. Ugh, and unfinished novels published post-mortem by family or whomever? Don’t get… Read more »
My fear is it won’t/doesn’t matter, my work isn’t strange enough and I don’t want to write in that way, and I don’t know enough which then always brings me to wondering if there is more important/relevant work I could be doing – this isn’t just about writing. I have begun writing several times throughout my life time – including attending writing workshops, small projects in small specific publications and professionally focused. Now I have made the commitment this year to really spend time writing and have several starts for fiction – stories into novels, maybe, and some poetry. I… Read more »
Thank you for sharing, Deb. When you say your work isn’t strange enough, are you saying that you find your writing too conventional, style-wise or topic-wise? I truly think there is an audience for every kind of writing, regardless of what may be trendy. You wonder if there’s more important/relevant *writing* work you could be doing, or you could be doing work that’s more important and relevant than writing? (Or both?) We hear occasionally from writers who’ve had people say such things to them, usually with lots of sarcasm: “Oh, I’d love to write too, but I’m too busy living… Read more »
It started off a the fear of not being able to write anything worthy of reading. OK. Past that. I’m now working on my fear of success. Failure I know very well, so that isn’t one of my fears. I’ve rationalized my fear of success by saying what ever happens, happens, but then I avoid marketing (I hate it to begin with) even though I market myself and have a website and facebook page. So far, all who have read my first book liked it. (hey, I’ll take 4 out of 5 stars on Amazon for a first effort) I… Read more »
Hi Barbara. Thanks for sharing. So you conquered your fear of not being able to write readable work. That happened gradually, I take it? Little by little you chipped away at it, through practice, time, effort, etc. I imagine it works the same way with your success fears. Few writers are good at, or enjoy, self-promotion. But how many of them have even taken the time to build a website? Seems you’re already a step ahead there. And that kind of thing — social media, asking for reviews, etc. — gets easier with time. As for crowd work, maybe you… Read more »
I don’t have just one fear. One leads into the next, which lead to the next, etc. Without the first one, I probably wouldn’t have the others, though. So here’s my first fear… Do I really have the talent to pull this off to the end? Okay, I sneaked in the second fear too. I promise you they do go together. I got A’s in English all the way through school. I loved my creative writing courses in high school. But then I had a stroke two months after graduation. Parts of my memory were gone. That included some of… Read more »
Don’t worry about what you might have forgot. Just concentrate on what you are now. You could write about what it’s like to have a stroke and the memory loss that you experienced. You have ideas now that you didn’t have before. So, write about them even if they’re personal. You just might help someone who is facing the same thing as you. Good luck and keep writing.
Thank you, Elizabeth. This is great advice. Glynis, what do you think about writing some memoir? Do you still keep a journal?
Hi Glynis. Thank you, as always, for stopping by and sharing. SOMEDAY I am going to write that post about grammar. I didn’t pay attention in school. I have no idea how to diagram a sentence. I don’t know the meaning of “pluperfect.” I can’t write the classic five-paragraph essay. I just know how to communicate in writing. Talent is not tethered to book larnin’. Anyway, you may not remember the specifics, but I imagine you put some of that forgotten knowledge to use every time you write, even if you’re not aware of doing so. Is that possible? I’m… Read more »
I’ve always been afraid that I’m not good enough and don’t have the talent. That’s been my fear through all the years I’ve been writing with a bit of success in the magazine market. However, whenever I doubt myself I stop writing for a while–as long as a year or two. Then it’s twice as hard to get back into it again. I’m writing now but the old fear is still there. I also fear that if I should get successful I would have to speak and talk in front of people. That terrorizes me. I don’t like to speak… Read more »
Hi Elizabeth. Thank you for stopping by and for sharing. Does your self-doubt recede for a while when you do find some success? For example, when you publish a piece in a magazine? Sometimes for me, publishing can intensify doubts about my own talent. When I reread something I’ve published, more often than not I can barfely tolerate it. And although I meant to type “barely,” “barfely” seems an oddly appropriate typo. In fact, I no longer even look at new pieces I published. It’s out there, it’s been published on paper — there’s no taking it back. If I… Read more »
I actually believe I am a good writer and I have a great idea for a story, series of stories. (Eyes roll, how obnoxious!!) My fears are – in no particular order – I will not be published by a satisfactory publisher who will promote me, fear that the book will land with a dull thud and not be well received, have no commercial success, I fear that I will fail to breathe life into the story adequately for people to relate to it. I fear I won’t get the characters just right, I fear the details that create the… Read more »
Thanks for sharing with us here, Gregg. Have you gotten busy on this series of stories despite these fears? Or are they (at least in part?) keeping you from getting started? It would be easy to say “Don’t worry about those *product* fears for now — publisher, promotion, reception, etc. — and instead focus only on *process*.” But I know that can be difficult, since product goals are so important. Here’s a question that some writers find useful; it can often bring answers that surprise us: If you knew, right now, that you’d never publish your book, would you write… Read more »
If I have any fear at all it’s about not having the money needed to get my manuscript ready for publication. Then if it is published, doing the marketing. I am moderately disabled and about to be 83 yrs. old. By the time anything I produce may be published…..well, I believe any reader of my comment will get the picture.
Hi Eleanor,
Thank you. For putting yourself out there in a time when being over 30 is considered passe. You have inspired me to face my own fears of not having a relevant voice for the times. As for the money question, I would hope that, unless you plan to self publish, a reputable publisher (and agent) would cover costs. If not, I’d look elsewhere.
Thanks for stopping by, Valerie. And for supporting a fellow writer. So what form will this fear-facing take for you? Do you have a project in mind, or are you already in the middle of one? 20 Under 30 5 Under 35 Etc. These sorts of lists of young writers, they’re frustrating. And then there are many older writers who are known as being “revered,” which to me seems to be a euphemism for “someone whose new work is no longer considered relevant.” But the thing is, there are plenty of examples of writers who got a late, or even… Read more »
Thank you for sharing, Eleanor. Do you have a finished manuscript now? What kind of preparation does it need? Promotion seems to be among the least savory activities for writers, and one of the most concerning (for obvious reasons). Especially now that so much of it has become self-promotion. I’ve heard of big publishers who won’t even consider authors who don’t have a built-in “platform.” Then again, I’m hounded daily by publicists working very hard on behalf of their authors. I suppose it depends on what type of book you’re writing and what sort of agent and publisher you get… Read more »
I am afraid I won’t be able to connect the dots. I have a strong beginning and a powerful conclusion. I even have some good things in the middle, but the piece lacks unity. There are huge gaps which need to be filled in (but not with “filler”) so the story makes sense and seems like one story. As it is now, it is like watching a television series while having missed some of the episodes.
It is ironic that the fear of not being able to complete my work keeps me from completing my work.
Hi pal. Thanks for stopping and for sharing. These gaps would raise questions in readers and/or leave questions unanswered? “How did this character get from A to B,” that kind of thing? Or the gaps are more spatial, related more to pace and length than to plot points: “How did we get here so quickly?”
Have you written your conclusion or is it an envisioned ending?
The gaps do both. Akiko seems to simply plunk down in the middle of a new scene without having gotten there at all.
I have written *a* conclusion, but it is not etched in stone. (It is just sitting quietly on my hard drive.)
So are we mostly talking about an accumulation of minor missing details? eg., did Akiko take a train, a bus, walk? Meaning that you have lots of pesky middle scenes to write, and you’re just not wowed by the prospect?
Or is “How did Akiko get here?” as much an existential question, speaking to who Akiko is as a character/person?
Again, both are true. I even have some cliffhangers that just keep hanging. (Akiko appears in the next part I have written, in a different town, apparently unscathed and unaffected by whatever I haven’t shared with the reader.)
And, no, I am not wowed by the prospect of writing these scenes.
Have you considered setting this book aside for a while and working on something else? I know you’ve been frustrated about not hitting your word counts, so maybe doing some writing not related to this project will help you rebuild some momentum *and* take your mind off of this problem. Which may then help you find a solution you hadn’t considered before. It’s like that thing where you can’t remember where you left your keys until you stop trying to remember where you left your keys. Do you have something else you can work on? Maybe a shorter project?
That is EXACTLY what I have been doing! I’ve been writing short stories, and managing to hit my word count with those. It isn’t my novel, but it is writing
Thank you — you’ve helped confirm I am on the right track.
MY writing fear is do I still have the knack for This? Am I as good as when I first started out. I find myself doubting myself. Like this morning around 4am I got up brewed some coffee and started writing what ever came to my mind and I then got scared. Would if I don’t get to my goal of 1000 words. Will I have failed in my goal for today. Then my laptop kept messing up. I was actually having a conversation with my laptop!! I don’t have a name for him yet but I like where this… Read more »
Hi Alyssa. Thank you for sharing. A lot of us here are talking about self-doubt, but I find your spin on it to be particularly interesting: “Am I as good as when I first started out.” So your fear is that, rather than improving with practice and time, you’ve taken steps back as a writer? To what would you attribute such a thing?
I might say that someone who writes 1,000 words daily is only getting better with each passing day.
Especially if that someone has the dedication to get up at 4:00 a.m.!
[…] https://www.writebynight.net/abcs-of-writing/strategies/common-writing-fears/ Mine is being afraid to put my work out there. I sometimes sabotage myself. What are yours? […]
I have read all of the comments thus far and have all the same fears except success. I would welcome that. I dream that. I send it out to the universe. NO! I do not have fear of success. But all the rest, that deal with insecurity and self-defeating thoughts are mine, too. I think my biggest one ever though (regarding writing) is I am not making any sense to anyone and no one gets me or cares enough to finish the paragraph. It is not being understood. It is a profound lack of confidence in my expression of choice.… Read more »
Hi Cecilia. Thank you for sharing.
I might suggest that you need to entrench yourself even further, and with even more defiance, in your own head. Remember, that’s what got you here in the first place. Revision is the time to get out of your own head. For now, dig in!
I’m glad this discussion has helped. And hey, you’re already ahead of the game regarding success, right? When it comes, you’ll be able to greet it with open arms rather than with mixed, conflicted feelings.
[…] Last week we had a frank discussion of our writing fears. That doesn’t have to end just because the week is over. The comments sections of every WBN […]
Hi,
Thanks to all for these interesting comments about fear of writing which is just another name for writer’s block.
I want to sha
Hi Alfred! Thank you for stopping by and for reading, and I’m glad this discussion was helpful.
I’m afraid your comment was cut off, so please come back and try again. You really left us with the quite the cliffhan
[…] weeks ago we manage to have a great discussion about our writing fears despite the fact that the post opened with me whining in my usual syntactically off-putting manner: […]